FAQ: Socialism
Frequently Asked Questions: Socialism
Here Come The Idiots
Lets get to the questions
1. What is Socialism?
Well kiddies, according to Merriam-Webster, Socialism is "any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods." The basic idea here is that basic goods are too important for greedy corporations to control, and that the people themselves -- through their representation in the government -- should control these means of production. Who should control whether poor people can buy socks for the winter: CEOs who are only interested in the bottom line, or people who actually have feelings and a sense of responsibility. And for all you Southerners out there, I'll answer my rhetorical question: the people.
2. Aren't you biased/cynical for saying that all corporations are greedy?
No. Next question.
3. I guess that makes sense, but aren't governments equally as corrupt as companies, or sometimes even more so?
Yes, sometimes they are. Here's a little trick to fix that. It's called "voting", and some people do it every year! If something's broken, you fix it. If politicians are corrupt, you get new ones. You can't vote for new CEOs, and even if you could, Capitalism would still push his corporation to maximum profit and therefore maximum corruption. Governments aren't obsessed with pleasing shareholders, so the same motivations don't exist there.
4. Isn't Socialism the same thing as Communism? I mean, I've been using them interchangeably for years, so it must be right!
Clearly, you are from below the Mason-Dixon line. If you're not, that is where you belong my friend (and I use that word in the most general and least sincere way). If you knew anything about either school of thought, or if you even bothered to take the time to read the respective Wikipedia entries, you would know that they are not the same. In fact, if you took Modern European History in 9th grade, you would have learned exactly what the difference is. Let me use a metaphore to help explain all three basic systems of economics for you:
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull, and so does everyone else. The economy grows at a rapid pace until there is no more grass. Everyone tries to sell their cows and bulls, but to no avail. Eventually the grass grows back, only to start the cycle anew.
Socialism: You have two cows. The government controls milk production and cow numbers, but you still own the cows. The government redistributes some of your extra milk to other people who really need it.
Communism (Theory): You have two cows. The government takes both, along with everyone else's cows, and hires everyone to work at the collective barn. Everyone gets the amount of milk that they need.
Communism (Practice): You have two cows. The government takes both, along with everyone else's cows. Everyone is forced to work at the collective barn. The government takes the best milk, and everyone else gest spoiled milk. All hail Stalin. Dissent will be crushed.
Hopefully you now see that Socialism incorporates the inherit competition of Capitalism with the government regulation and redistribution of Communism. Of course, the "Democratic" piece of Socialism is important here, lest it become Communism (Practice) like in the Soviet Union. Without the Democratic piece, the government can easily become as greedy and corrupt as a corporation, except with at least twice the law-breaking power. At least.
5. Your system doesn't work, you stupid left-wing hippy. Why don't you go back to Vermont and milk some cows?
Two things: a) Your "question" is really a statement and then a rhetorical question, so I can't directly answer them, and b) Don't you ever call me a hippy. I don't play the acoustic guitar, I don't wear Birkenstocks or however you spell it, and I do practice personal hygene. Any one of those three things automatically disqualifies me from hippydom. Kudos on the uninformed slanderous statements, though. I prefer informed debate and facts, but whatever works for you.
Now lets move on to why you're wrong, as you inevitably are. Just today I read an article in Scientific American about how left-wing welfare-capitalist countries like Norway and Sweden have better economic stats than laissez-faire capitalist countries like the UK and the US. Let me quote, so I don't sound like a certain ignorant douchebag (you):
"On average, the Nordic countries outperform the Anglo-Saxon ones on most measures of economic performance. Poverty rates are much lower there, and national income per working-age population is on average higher...the results for the households at the bottom of the income distribution are astoundingly good, especially in contrast to the mean-spirited neglect that now passes for American social policy." In fact, the US "spends less than almost all rich countries on social services for the poor and disabled, and it gets what it pays for: the highest poverty rate among the rich countries and an exploding prison population."
Face it, economic conservatives: YOU ARE WRONG!!! Trickle-down economics is dead, and welfare-capitalism lives. The next logical step is socialism. I guess I'd be fine with a strongly welfare-capitalist state, but it's kind of tough to get people excited about welfare. Not a sexy revolution at all.
6. I don't care what you say, Ronald Reagan is still my hero!
Wow, you are an asshole. Like no joke, you are a bad person. Not only are you stubborn, but you also hate minorities and poor people. Like Tyler says, your mouth is like "a busted sewer pipe." Please become a eunich and never participate in politics again. Registering to vote would be treason in your case.
